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Whatsapp Science Jokes


Whatsapp Science Jokes

Whatsapp Science JokesHello Friends!! Welcome to wishesquote.com today i am posting Science  jokes.These jokes makes you laugh and feel very happy.Science Jokes is purely based on maths,Physics,Chemistry and Biology.These Jokes makes you lot of fun and joy .These are the latest Science Jokes which i have posted here.Some Lab.Accident, Balloon, New Monk,Measurement Jokes are mentioned here.It’s very interesting to read these jokes My point of view I think Visitors feel happy while reading these type of jokes.  Our site is famous for JOKES.HAPPY BIRTHDAY Wishes,Quotes,National Day  AND WORLD FAMOUS AUTHORS.Stay tuned for our regular daily updates 

Whatsapp Science Jokes

Measurement

A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street.

 First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.

 The Physicist: “The measurement wasn’t accurate.” The Biologist: “They have reproduced.” The Mathematician: “If one person enters the house then it will be empty again.”

Florence Flask

Florence Flask was getting ready for the opera.

 All of a sudden, she screamed: “Erlenmeyer, my joules! Somebody has stolen my joules!” The husband replied, “Calm down, honey. We’ll find a solution.”

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 Howitzer

When considering the behaviour of a howitzer:

A mathematician will be able to calculate where the shell will land.

A physicist will be able to explain how the shell gets there.

An engineer will stand there and try to catch it.

Balloon

A man flying in a hot air balloon realizes he is lost.

 He reduces his altitude and spots a man in a field down below.

 He lowers the balloon further and shouts, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?” The man below says, “Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon, about 30 feet above this field.” “You must be an engineer,” says the balloonist. “I am. How did you know?” “Everything you told me is technically correct, but it’s of no use to anyone.” The man below says, “You must be in management.” “I am. But how did you know?” “You don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”

New Monk

A new monk shows up at a monastery where the monks spend their time making copies of ancient books.

The new monk goes to the basement of the monastery saying he wants to make copies of the originals rather than of others’ copies so as to avoid duplicating errors they might have made. Several hours later the monks, wondering where their new friend is, find him crying in the basement.

 They ask him what is wrong and he says “the word is CELEBRATE, not CELIBATE!”

Love

A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.

 “Oh Bunsen, my flame,” the sodium pined. “I melt whenever I see you,” The Bunsen burner replied, “It’s just a phase you’re going through.”

History

A Short History of Medicine: “Doctor, I have an ear ache.”

2000 B.C. – “Here, eat this root.”

1000 A.D. – “That root is heathen, say this prayer.”

1850 A.D. – “That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.”

1940 A.D. – “That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.”

1985 A.D. – “That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.”

2000 A.D. – “That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!”

Bar

Two high school chemistry students walk into a bar tended by an irate Ph. D. chemist who was down sized from a major corporation.

 The first kid says, “I’ll have some H20.” The barkeep serves the water, knowing there will be no tip.

 The second kid says, “I’ll have some H20 too.” The bartender says, we don’t serve minors in this oxidation state.

Benzene

“One benzene ring to rule them all,

One benzene ring to find them.

Six sigma bonds to bring them all,

And in the solvent, bind them.”

Heaven

After death, one scientist was sent to heaven.

 He tried to call the Lab but it was “very costly”.

 He saw one of his colleagues keep calling from the hell.

He inquired from the gate keeper…why it is so…Gate keeper replied “Hell to Lab calls are always considered “local”.

The Fortune

A frog went to visit a fortune teller. “What do you see in my future?” asked the frog.

“Very soon,” replied the fortune teller. “you will meet a pretty young girl who will want to know everything about you.”

“That’s great!” said the frog, hopping up and down excitedly. “But when will I meet her?”

“Next week in science class.” said the fortune teller.

Limmerick

A Relative Limmerick

There was an old lady called Wright

who could travel much faster than light.

She departed one day

in a relative way

and returned on the previous night.

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?

According to Issac newton, “Chicken at rest tends to stay at rest and chicken in motion tends to cross the roads.”

According to Einstein, “Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends on your frame of reference.”

Exams

A month Before Exams, we prefer Books of foreign authors.

A week before exams, we prefer Books of Local authors.

A day before exams, trying to read our own notes.

On the day of exam, we become authors.

Wife

A doctor, a painter and a programmer talk about which is better, having a wife or a mistress.

Doctor: Wife. A man needs someone to come home to after a 12 hour of operating on people.

Painter: No way, a man can’t be tied down like that! A mistress is the way to go, go to her when you feel inspired.

Programmer: You have to have both. The wife thinks you’re with your mistress, the mistress thinks you’re with your wife, while you’re at the office coding away!

Glass

The optimist sees the glass half full.

The pessimist sees the glass half empty.

The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

Question

A mathematician and a physicist were asked the following question:

Suppose you walked by a burning house and saw a hydrant and a hose not connected to the hydrant. What would you do?

P: I would attach the hose to the hydrant, turn on the water, and put out the fire.

M: I would attach the hose to the hydrant, turn on the water, and put out the fire.

Then they were asked this question:

Suppose you walked by a house and saw a hose connected to a hydrant. What would you do?

P: I would keep walking, as there is no problem to solve.

M: I would disconnect the hose from the hydrant and set the house on fire, reducing the problem to a previously solved form.

Atoms

Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:

“Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m positive.”

Heisenberg

Heisenberg is out for a country drive in his new Lamborghini.

A police officer stops him and asks :” Do you know how fast you were going?’

Heisenberg responds; ” No, but I know exactly where I am”

Accident

Student: I… have a confession to Make Prof

Professor: Uh Oh

Student: I had an accident in the Lab

Professor: Did anyone die ?

Student: No

Professor: Is anyone going to sue us ?

Student: No

Professor: Was any equipment permanently damaged ?

Student: No

Professor: Did you clean it up ?

Student: Of course

Professor: Did you get data out of it ?

Student: Actually yes…

Professor: CAN YOU DO IT AGAIN

Deer

A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting.

 The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5 feet to the left.

 The chemist takes a shot and misses 5 feet to the right. The statistician yells, Yes! We got ’em!”

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