Awesome Wife & Husband Jokes In Whats app
Hello FRIENDS!! Welcome to wishesquote.com today i have posted latest jokes on husband and wife.These jokes makes you lot of fun its not a joke its a FACT.Start reading and enjoy the jokes as much as you can.If you like the jokes send to your friends and share on social apps.
NEWLY MARRIED COUPLE
A newly married man asked his wife, ‘Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?’
‘Honey,’ the woman replied sweetly, ‘I’d have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!’
Wife: ‘What are you doing?’
Wife: ‘Nothing…? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.’
Husband: ‘I was looking for the expiration date.’
At The Cocktail Party, One Man Said To Another, “Aren’t You Wearing Your Wedding Ring On The Wrong Finger? “
The Other Replied, “Yes I Am, I Married The Wrong Woman.”
Click here for wonderful jokes on whats app
A Husband Visited A Marriage Counselor And Said, “When We Were First Married, I Would Come Home From The Office, My Wife Would Bring My Slippers And Our Cute Little Dog Would Run Around Barking.
Now After Ten Years It’s All Different, I Come Home, The Dog Brings The Slippers And My Wife Runs Around Barking.”
“Why Complain?” Said The Counselor. “You’re Still Getting The Same Service!
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
When I get Mad
Sonu : When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
Jasmeet : I clean the toilet bowl.
Sonu : How does that help?
Jasmeet : I use your toothbrush!
HUSBAND TEXTS TO WIFE ON CELL
Husband texts to wife on cell..
Hi, what r u doing Darling?
Wife: Im dying..!
Husband jumps with joy but types:
Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?
Wife: U idiot! Im dying my hair..
Husband: Bloody English Language!
Wife: Look At that drunker.
Husband: Who is he ?
Wife: 10yrs back he proposed me I rejected him
Husband: Oh my god, he is still celebrating…!
Wife to Husband: I have heard that husband and wife are not allowed to stay
together in heaven. Is it true?
Husband: You fool, that’s why it is called heaven.
Husband: can u be the moon of my life?
Wife: Awww Yes sweetheart..!
Husband: Great! then….
Stay 9,955,887.6 kms away from Me..!!
Police: Sir ur wife had an accident,
plz come 2 identify body now.
Husband: Im busy now,
u take photo and tag me on FB
If its her, I will click Like.
A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, “the food looks delicious, let’s eat.”
Wife: honey…..you say prayer before eating at home.
Husband: that’s at home sweetheart……here the chef knows how to cook.
Story of a sincere apology
a man received a message from his neighbor…
“sorry sir, i am using your wife… day and night… when you are not present at home…
in fact, much more than you do. I confess this now because i am feeling very guilty. hope you will accept my sincere apologies.
the man is down with a heart attack.
a few minutes later he received another message:
“sorry sir, a spelling mistake…
“I meant wi fi”
important : pls check spellings before sending..
Wife(to techie husband) : You always talk like a nerd, can you please talk romantic to me sometimes..?Husband : Sure why not ! Ok tell me one thing that can arouse me and disgust me at the same time.
Wife- Sure why not ! You are the best kisser among all your friends !
Wife – Where R U ?
Husband – I’m At the “Bank”
Wife – Wow…that’s good !! I need 20,000, for a new Cell Phone, 5,000 for a new dress, 6000 for new shoes, 4000 for a new purse, 8000 for my new cosmetics !!
Husband – Sorry , I mean,
I am at the Blood bank…
Wife : “why are u home so early?”
Hubby : “My boss said go to hell!”
Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror: When both r pregnant!
Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both!
HUSBAND SERIOUSLY ILL
Husband was seriously ill.
Doc to wife :-
Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood,
don�t discuss ur problems,
no tv serial, dont demand new clothes & gold jewels,
Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.
On the way home..
Husband :- wat did the doc say ?
Wife :- .No chance for u to survive
A white couple gets a black child..
Angry husband asks : You white, Me white. Why is baby black?
Wife : You hot, Me hot. Baby burnt!