jokes, Whatsapp Status

Awesome Wife & Husband Jokes In Whats app


Awesome Wife & Husband Jokes In Whats app

Awesome Wife & Husband Jokes In Whats appHello FRIENDS!! Welcome to wishesquote.com today i have posted latest jokes on husband and wife.These jokes makes you lot of fun its not a joke its a FACT.Start reading and enjoy the jokes as much as you can.If you like the jokes send to your friends and share on social apps.

 

NEWLY MARRIED COUPLE

 

A newly married man asked his wife, ‘Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?’

‘Honey,’ the woman replied sweetly, ‘I’d have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!’

MARRIAGE

 

Wife:           ‘What are you doing?’

Husband:       Nothing.

Wife:           ‘Nothing…?  You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.’

Husband:   ‘I was looking for the expiration date.’

 

 

Wedding Ring

 

 

At The Cocktail Party, One Man Said To Another, “Aren’t You Wearing Your Wedding Ring On The Wrong Finger? “

The Other Replied, “Yes I Am, I Married The Wrong Woman.”

 

 

 

 

Click here for wonderful jokes on whats app

 

 

Same Service

 

 

A Husband Visited A Marriage Counselor And Said, “When We Were First Married, I Would Come Home From The Office, My Wife Would Bring My Slippers And Our Cute Little Dog Would Run Around Barking.

Now After Ten Years It’s All Different, I Come Home, The Dog Brings The Slippers And My Wife Runs Around Barking.”

“Why Complain?” Said The Counselor. “You’re Still Getting The Same Service!

 

 

 

 

Anniversary

 

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?

Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

 

 

 

 

When I get Mad

 

Sonu : When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?

Jasmeet : I clean the toilet bowl.

Sonu : How does that help?

Jasmeet : I use your toothbrush!

 

 

 

 

 

HUSBAND TEXTS TO WIFE ON CELL

 

Husband texts to wife on cell..

Hi, what r u doing Darling?

 

Wife: Im dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types:

Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?

 

Wife: U idiot! Im dying my hair..

Husband: Bloody English Language!

 

 

 

 

 

 

CELEBRATING

 

Wife: Look At that drunker.

Husband: Who is he ?

Wife: 10yrs back he proposed me I rejected him

Husband: Oh my god, he is still celebrating…!

 

 

 

 

HEAVEN

 

Wife to Husband: I have heard that husband and wife are not allowed to stay

together in heaven. Is it true?

Husband: You fool, that’s why it is called heaven.

 

 

 

 

 

 

DISTANCE

 

Husband: can u be the moon of my life?

Wife: Awww Yes sweetheart..!

.

.

.

.

.

Husband: Great! then….

Stay 9,955,887.6 kms away from Me..!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

ACCIDENT

 

Police: Sir ur wife had an accident,

plz come 2 identify body now.

Husband: Im busy now,

u take photo and tag me on FB

If its her, I will click Like.

 

 

 

 

 

 

RESTAURANT

 

 

A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, “the food looks delicious, let’s eat.”

 

Wife: honey…..you say prayer before eating at home.

 

Husband: that’s at home sweetheart……here the chef knows how to cook.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

APOLOGY

 

 

Story of a sincere apology

a man received a message from his neighbor…

“sorry sir, i am using your wife… day and night… when you are not present at home…

in fact, much more than you do. I confess this now because i am feeling very guilty. hope you will accept my sincere apologies.

 

the man is down with a heart attack.

 

a few minutes later he received another message:

 

“sorry sir, a spelling mistake…

“I meant wi fi”

 

important : pls check spellings before sending..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NERD HUSBAND

 

Wife(to techie husband) : You always talk like a nerd, can you please talk romantic to me sometimes..?Husband : Sure why not ! Ok tell me one thing that can arouse me and disgust me at the same time.

Wife- Sure why not ! You are the best kisser among all your friends !

 

 

 

BANK

 

 

Wife – Where R U ?

Husband – I’m At the “Bank”

Wife – Wow…that’s good !! I need 20,000, for a new Cell Phone, 5,000 for a new dress, 6000 for new shoes, 4000 for a new purse, 8000 for my new cosmetics !!

Husband – Sorry , I mean,

I am at the Blood bank…

 

 

 

HOME

 

 

Wife : “why are u home so early?”

Hubby : “My boss said go to hell!”

 

 

 

TRAGEDY

 

Tension is when wife is pregnant!

Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant!

Horror: When both r pregnant!

Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both!

 

 

 

 

HUSBAND SERIOUSLY ILL

 

Husband was seriously ill.

Doc to wife :-

Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood,

don�t discuss ur problems,

no tv serial, dont demand new clothes & gold jewels,

Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.

 

On the way home..

 

Husband :- wat did the doc say ?

Wife :- .No chance for u to survive

 

 

 

 

BLACK CHILD

 

 

A white couple gets a black child..

Angry husband asks : You white, Me white. Why is baby black?

Wife : You hot, Me hot. Baby burnt!

 

 

 

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